I have a beautiful family and I feel very blessed; but it took me a while to "get it together". Throughout my life it just seemed that nothing came easy. And this is not to say that I've had a hard life by any means, but I had a lot of opportunity to learn. Learn to be patient (still learning this), learn to be persistent, learn to love more, learn to let things go that I can't control, learn and learn and learn. I'm still learning, about myself, about life and I never plan to stop.
My whole life I wanted to be a mom. There was always a voice in the back of my head that said, "what if you can't get pregnant..?" Part of me always knew I would struggle to get pregnant and be a mom.
Yes, I, we struggled. I had 2 miscarriages which were beyond awful. If you know anyone who has been through one, yes, they happen often, but when it happens to YOU, it's painful and difficult. Don't offer the "it was for the best" or "it's natures way of not giving you a challenged baby". Just offer comfort and love.
After the miscarriages I went through stimulation drugs, shots, giving myself shots, my hubs giving me shots, it seemed endless and hopeless. After what seemed like forever, we decided to go for it and do IVF. By the time we had made this decision I was in robot mode. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I experienced the ultimate feeling that God is in control and I have to accept it.
After the retrieval and transfer I prayed a lot and I had the feeling that both embryos they had transferred would take. The two weeks after the transfer before I could take a pregnancy test were torture. I used to day dream on the way to work about dancing one day with my little boy and little girl. My sister even named my embryos Mable and Abel! Finally the day came, and you know the ending, I was pregnant. On our 2nd anniversary we found out we were having 2 babies!
I've never wrote about this and it's hard to put into words the emotions, tears and heart ache we went through. Why am I sharing this? I hope my story might help someone else to know that they are not alone. If you're going through this you're not alone. If you know someone going through this, tell them they are not alone. Share this post because I would be happy to be their friend and pray with them.
So my struggle, is now my joy! Love to moms, moms-to-be, future moms and those who want to be moms.
Oh, Lulu.. what a journey but I believe at the end of every tunnel, there's a ray of light waiting. The babies are so adorable and guess what? I have twins too, 2 identical boys! :)
ReplyDeleteKisses from Dubai!
MRS JACK OF ALL TRADES DAILY
http://mrsjackofalltradesdaily.blogspot.com/
Thank you for sharing such a difficult story! I wish that more women would share their stories so that those going through these sorts of struggles understand that they are not alone because it can be incredibly isolating. Your babies are absolutely goregous and I am so happy for this ending for you!
ReplyDeleteChelsea
Haute Child in the City
I'm really moved...you wrote it all in such a lovely way.
ReplyDeleteYour kids are so cuuute!
Greetings from a mom ;)
you are so lucky!
ReplyDeleteOh My Gee !!! God Truly blessed you !! TWINS !! and Boys !! Ahhhh ! The Joy and fun :)
ReplyDeleteThey are little handsome babies !!!
What an inspirational story! I have family members struggling with the same thing right now. Stories like yours are so encouraging!
ReplyDeleteSheree
thehartungs.blogspot.ca
This is such an amazing post! Brought a tear to my eye. My mom always cries at everything and I always thought she was weird but now I'm just like her. lol
ReplyDeletewww.kacieskloset.blogspot.com
www.daisyraeboutique.com
Just wait until you're a momma, it gets worse! :)
DeleteThank you everyone for your kind comments!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story and I'm so following your lovely blog.
ReplyDeleteYou have two adorable little miracles, and looks like the struggle was totally worth it : )
xo,
Cindi
Breakfast at Cindi’s
I'm so glad you shared this. I'm sure someone that reads this will be comforted to know that they are not alone;) WOW, being a mom is emotional, huh? I'm crying right now, just thinking of your struggles and knowing just how hard it is to have babies. What an absolute joy when they are here though, makes everything worth it!!
ReplyDeletexoAmy
www.dreamingincashmere.com
You know what I sit down and always fear the same thing. What if I do not get pregnant !! I am glad things turned out beautifully for you :)
ReplyDeletehttp://beautyqueenuk.blogspot.co.uk/
So glad you popped by:) Following along via google friend:)
ReplyDeleteI love discovering new blogs..especially fashionable mommies:) Look at those lil nuggets..just adorable...Thank you for sharing your story...can't even imagine the heartache of a miscarriage...
Oh and pop back by, I have a really great giveaway going on:) http://www.thirtysomethingfashion.com/2013/01/east-west-mamas-collaboration-of-style.html
C
Lulu, this is such a hearttouching journey you went through but at the end you were blessed with two precious babies. Thank you for sharing this story, I could totally feel it Lulu
ReplyDeleteAni
www.fleurani.blogspot.de
What a journey!
ReplyDeleteI've been talking about my pregnancy on my blog since July/August, but I don't think I've shared our story.(Not online anyway.) It's similar. I think it's important to share these stories as fertility is not talked about much and in turn makes people feel badly or live in the sadness and challenge alone. You are so lucky to have two cute little ones come from your trials. Congrats on your beautiful twins! Thank you for sharing your story. We have one on the way that has come from IVF as well. We are so blessed.
you're such a beautiful lady.. and babies.. omg, they are so cute.. happy for reading your blog <3
ReplyDeleteHi Lulu, I just found your blog via Lauren at from my grey desk! I don't know how exactly I found this particular post , but I was meant to read it. My husband are going through the same journey right now and I SO love reading success stories. Thank you for sharing your story- it gives me hope!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica. I'm so glad you did find this post - God has his ways :) Any time you need a lift, you can contact me. Much love to you darling.
ReplyDeletexo Lulu
Thank you! I really appreciate that :)
DeleteWhat a blessing! I had that same feeling that I always wanted to be a mom. I don't know that I would have had problems getting pregnant but I'm 38 and not married so I feel like that dream is kind of over.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a struggle to be "ok" with that and find a new dream for my life. No matter what, I know my life is in God's hands and I trust Him.
Just wanted to say I'm so happy that you get to live yours out!
Dear Lulu,
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your story. I am praying to have a boy and a girl, and if I would be able to carry twins (I am short - 160 cm) I would be DELIGHTED.
Also recovering from pregnancy body like you did would be AWSOME.
I am 36 years old - please pray for me and this family I am asking God to give.
Loving hugs from Romania,
Roxana Ileana