Held

My Ella "B" has been under the weather the last few days.  I don't want my kiddos to be sick, but when they are, they are more snuggly, love to be held, and I am all for it.  There is comfort and security in being held.  When all is lost, when the world is crumbling in, I want to be held.

For over two years my husband and I were trying desperately to have a baby.  There were a lot of tears, anxiety, and unknowns.  There was one morning that I will never forget and changed my faith forever.  After countless pregnancy tests, I was in the bathroom once again to "pee on the stick".  I prayed and prayed while waiting for the results.  As I turned over the stick, my heart dropped once again as it read not pregnant.  I sat on the floor and wept while continuing to ask, "why Lord?"  Not understanding what I was doing I wrapped my arms around myself.  Immediately I felt Jesus beside me, holding me.  It was a very real presence.  I don't know if I felt an immediate peace, but I did feel like I could just let it out and an immense comfort.  I'm sure it was some time before I could muster getting up and going to tell the Mr. it was negative, but I don't remember.  I just remember the warm feeling and tender touch of my Jesus.

If you are going through a tough time, through what seems to be unbearable, through a how can I get through this point of your life, ask the Lord to come into your presence.  He will meet you where you are and hold you.  I'm sharing lyrics from "You Carry Me" today from Moriah Peters.  Each time I hear this song, I cry.  It brings me back to the place, time of my life where I was on an uphill climb.  This song reminds me that the Lord is with me, carrying me up that hill.  I feel blessed that he is always with me.  Even when I may not feel his presence so abundantly, he is there to love me in all my tears and with all my scars.

Feels like it's been miles and miles
Feels like it's an uphill climb
Sometimes I get weary on the way
But when I look back on where I've been
When I look back, I'm sure of it
I was right there in your arms and I can say

(Chorus)
Every moment of my life
God, you never left my side
Every valley, every storm
You were there, you were there
I don't need to know what next
You'll be with me every step
Through it all, Through it all
I can see, you carry me.

There are days when I wonder if
You can fix the mess I'm in
Times when nothing seems
To go the way it should
But then I look back on every season
I can find ten thousand reasons
To trust that you can do all things for good (Chorus)

Through the wind and waves
Through my worst mistakes
Through the times I thought I walked alone
You were holding me
You were whispering
I will never leave you on your own (Chorus)